Sunday, April 4, 2010

Forgive me, for I have sinned against the blogosphere...

I haven't posted in awhile, not that I haven't started many many drafts. Six, actually--all of which are in my draft folder. Stuff about writing, stuff about class, stuff...just stuff.

I promised myself I wouldn't do anymore venting about school--not an easy thing since I'm pulling into the final stretch and it's depressing the hell out of me. I doubt I'll be able to get a job in my field, and I'm wondering why I simply didn't get back into the trainer program when I started my current job. Tired, I guess. No desire to play the game anymore and fight my way to a place where'd I'd always be kicking at the people coming up behind me. Cowboy once told me--okay, he told me a lot of times, that he couldn't figure out why I didn't follow my own career advice. Maybe burn-out is simply the acknowledgment that life sucks.

I've made my peace with Excel. I give it ninety percent of my time and finish my homework, the remaining ten percent gets shared out between my kids, work and my other two classes. Although, since I'm back in a group without actually being in small groups, it's looking like I'll have less time than ever.

And if my small groups teacher is reading this--yeah, I "didn't" like your class. Most of the time. But it made me think, kept me fully engaged, taught me a hell of a lot, and I was never bored. I'm going to carry a lot of it forward. Thank you for being the second best teacher I've ever had. And my group turned out to be pretty okay, too. Nice people, I wish them well.

Business law on the other hand is something I wish I'd been able to take on-line. The teacher doesn't have "spark", the classroom is overly warm, dimly lit and despite that--full of actively engaged people. The guy pretty much said we could use a part of his wiki to do our projects, and my group still wants to meet in person. I can't figure it out. Maybe I spend too much time on-line, but what's the point of a face to face meeting where we discuss things? Why not post to the discussion thread and be done?

I asked if we'd have an agenda and out-time, and what benefit we'd get out of doing all the homework by ourselves to figure out what we liked to do, so we could focus in on it, when it was supposed to be a collaborative effort. I probably came across as a jerk, but seriously--just because "I've always done my work in study group style" isn't a reason. I have things to do, and sleep to catch up on. People need to give me some pretty pertinent reasons if I'm going to show up. Hell--I "made" our wiki page, sub-sections, logos, pictures, you name it. It just needs content.

Okay--enough venting. Only three more months. I can do three more months, then I'll never have to deal with another "group" again.

For some reason, stress over school and bills--just stress in general, made it hard for me to write and think. My shoulders feel like they're caught in a vice grip. My mentorship over at RD is...interesting. I developed a couple of ways to template something I always wanted to do, and how to streamline the emotional structure of a story--one of my favorite craft topics. Pos has stuff going on in her life, and I have stuff going on in my life, so we've agreed to take it slow and off-stage.

I ordered the new Jim Butcher as a treat. And I'm headed up to Canada to do a workshop this weekend. I made a powerpoint and I need to try it out.

If anyone wants a copy? Email me

...and I'll send you one.


deanna said...

No apologies necessary, of course, for not blogging (or else I must make them, too, for being remiss lately). I hope your Easter's been nice. May the next three months involve some really good gifts being lobbed your way....

jodi said...

away, evil spammer!! *trash can sound*

Hi Deanna, I hope so too. Something nice and shiny and fun. Fun would be good. :)