Sunday, January 17, 2010

So tired

I think, over the course of many years--I have about twenty posts that start with "so tired". I actually am very very tired, and between the whole doctor thing and school, I have very little reserve. Little things set me off.

I suffer from pride. No joke. I have an ego--hmm, maybe not an ego, but when I let loose and bounce off the ceiling, screaming and ranting about things that nobody in their right mind (Hailey probably excepted, lol) would even have a smidgen of interest in at the time, I'm five parts manic and five parts scary. I've spent a very long time trying to be...I dunno, me?

And sometimes I want to be me so much, I get that whole pride thing spinning like a gas generator and I'm running flat out for, what--I don't know.

I wasn't very nice today. Too much of my old personality came back, although I think it's a result of my small group class. I'm OCD, what can I say? I see the team. The team isn't working. I want to get everyone pointed in the right direction. I...needed to let go. I wanted to shine in English, even though I know I suck--and in letting go, I found my center.

If I could only fix my Excel class in the same way. *sigh*

4 comments:

Hailey Edwards said...

I can't see anything wrong with you being you. I enjoy it. You're helpful, informative, and down right cool. Plus, you love Harry (Dresden). What else is there?

If you want to see OCD, check out my farm in FarmVille. Then again, don't. Sometimes my even numbered trees and livestock shame even me.

Like food on my plate, no two species can touch. See? There is always someone a little nuttier than you are out there. :)

P.S. - You'd be the first person not to call my sanity into question. I've heard rumors my current heroine's state of mind was gleaned from person experience.

Eva Gale said...

((((hugs))))

jodi said...

lol, Hailey--you're the only person other than my daughter who has ever called me cool. Most people just use the c(razy) word.

If you ever get out here, we need to get together. That way I can eat my food one thing at a time and nobody will stare. :)

Thanks, Eva. :)

Hailey Edwards said...

lol Same goes. If you ever make it waaaay down here, we'll have to meet up.

I have no problems smiting people who think my methods of food consumption are odd. I will make sure we dine undisturbed. ;)