Why take on the world, when a little bit of it's already too damned much?

I browse blogs. Well, not bunches of them. I don't have the time or energy, and what little I do has to go into writing. I never thought--like in Hambly's book Dragonsbane, that her thoughts on wizardry, "we give up our lives, our family and what we could have become. And count ourself fortunate to have the chance." would apply to writing.

Yeah, I've given up a lot for my writing.

My life, for one.

It's one of those bargains you get when you've hit rock-bottom and wonder where the hell your life is going and what you're going to do about it.

I was at Cybele's blog the other day. I was fortunate enough to meet Cybele during Nanowrimo, (virtually meet, but let's not go there...) and she struck me as very down to earth. Well, her and Geoff, the weapons guy from the UK, and Sami, the mod for the Misc. forum. Lol, my life...screenwriting, weapons and misc odds and ends. But, off subject--so I was at Cybele's blog and I noticed her philosophy on life and writing, which turned out to be very close to mine.

Here it is, paraphrased...

Basically, if you want to accomplish anything in your life, you’re going to have to start somewhere and you’re going to have to turn off that critic in your head that says stuff like, “Anything worth doing is worth doing well.” I’m not buying that anymore. Make a list of things you want to do and start doing them. Check them off. If you liked it the first time, then go back and do it again and do it well.

...lol, I don't want to plagarize the woman.

I read management books (lite-reading...it's easy on the brain) and someone came up with the same idea. For some reason, although I wouldn't ask her, I'm thinking Cybele reads the same books. It's...if you're going to do it, just do it. Sure you might suck, but if you don't do it, you'll never get better.

In my case it all boiled down to the day of the Strawberry contest. I'd been seeing this contest for years. A culinary institute near my home, (it was a big one, it's since moved to Charleston and become one big campus)used to run this amatuer pastry contest at a food festival every May, and I kept thinking, "well, I should enter." And people kept saying, "yeah, right. Like you'd win."

So I didn't .

I mean, how could I? I didn't want to lose, and I obviously wasn't good enough to place against these chefs and gifted amateurs.

Then one day, I said...well, I don't care. I'm going to do it. (no idea where that wild hair came from) And took first.

So I--in my infinite cynical-ness said, "Yeah, it was a fluke."

And did it again the next year.

I took first in three out of four categories and Chef's choice, and missed People's choice by a point. I framed the picture of me and my trophies (and cash. Let's not forget the cash!).

I haven't looked back since.

THE ONLY THING STOPPING ME--WAS ME.

I write because I need to write. I didn't before, because I listened to other people who said a writer either has it, or doesn't.

I didn't have it. But I've got it now. And one day, I'll have more....