Thursday, January 7, 2010

Next time, I'll go before it gets bad

I was...actually pretty sick. Shortness of breath, couldn't take a deep breath, wheezing, abrupt fatigue, swollen legs, sore joints, bad vision, memory lapses, dizziness, watery eyes, couldn't concentrate--you name it, I had it. I was drinking AMP by the quart and crashing face-down on my computer. I stuttered. I could barely type. Talking produced gibberish and when I concentrated--I sounded like a 10 year old with a learning disability and cleft palate. And sleeping didn't help.

Then I got a lump in my leg. It went away, but two more showed up--I pressed the lump and my fingerprint filled very slowly. It's bad enough when you think you're so stressed you're damaging your brain. Swelling and shortness of breath? I thought I had congestive heart failure. In urgent care, check-in called the triage nurse. She heard the symptoms and ran out with an oxygen monitor. Guess I wasn't the only one.

Turns out my oxygen levels were good. When I finally got in, everything else checked out, too. I was obviously sick, but there was nothing wrong with my heart or lungs.

However, I was so dangerously anemic the doctor sat down, looked at me and said, "Are you bleeding?" She wanted to send me to Emergency, "Blood transfusion," she said. "More tests," said another doctor. By that time, I was the only person in the clinic. Everyone else had gone home and the nurses were packing up. It was soooo quiet.

They compromised on having me walk around with a nurse and an oxygen monitor. "Do you feel all right?" the nurse asked. "I'm used to it," I said. And I was. I can't remember when I didn't feel yuck and dragging.

According to the doctor, I probably have a growing fibroid. (doctor appt. on Monday)

I dragged myself home, took some of my kid's high potency iron and crashed. I still felt bad in the morning, got to work a little early, took another iron tab (these are "serious" iron tabs) stretched out on a bench and took a nap (still horribly tired)...and woke up ready to run a marathon.

I sprang off the bench, jumped to my feet, blinked--and started laughing.

I went around to everyone and said good morning. I jumped on the bench and screamed, "ON TOP OF THE WORLD, BABY!" I solved a paperwork problem, ate breakfast, started a craft-blog post, wrote notes on my arm, bounced on my heels, hummed, sang along with the radio.

It was so freaking cool!! I haven't felt so good in years. I haven't felt so "clear" in years. Seriously--years. I felt energized and refreshed, happy and uncloudy. I can do anything in uber-speed. And I did. Over and over, until I drove people nuts.

I have my brain back. I thought I'd lost so much of it, it was turning into swiss cheese. No more stuttering. No more missed words. It's like the world is acid-edged and crystal clear.

My...excuse me, periods have been extra heavy for years, and I have the feeling I've been anemic for a long time. No clue what to do if they have to get the damned thing out, but I can work through it. It's like someone scrubbed me out with a wire brush and outlined all of me in neon. Everything works with a vengeance, lungs and all. My kid says things were shutting down, and now they're coming back to life.

Woo-yeah! If I flap hard enough, I can fly.


Hailey Edwards said...

Whoo hoo! So glad you hear you're feeling better. I hope the doctors pinpoint the cause and keep you flying high.

You know, if you get too hyper, I hear there's a mentor program getting ready to crank up...

Kimberly said...

So glad to hear you're feeling better. After you fly around a bit, land in front of your computer and work on KV for a bit.


jodi said...

lol, Hailey. I am so wired. AND I'm not even caffeinated. That's crazy weird. (got to think about the mentor program, depends on how bad my homework is. It "looked" bad before, but's re-evaluation time) :)

Kimberly, you are a true friend. Thank you for everything you do. And I hope you know I mean that.

After I stopped bouncing, I blew through homework that took me hours when I was sick. KV is back on the move. :) I wonder how I can use this in my book?

deanna said...

Hooray! Amazing what can happen when we give the body what it needs. My son has been through a few years of scary health stuff, and we found out not long ago it was adrenal fatigue, the remedy for which is megadoses of vitamins like D and all those different Bs. Doctors who'll do the right tests on you are a godsend.

Just do rest when you need to, right? Don't expect to always be super woman. Take a day off now and then. :o)

Hailey Edwards said...

Nah, the mentor thing is cool. I felt the need to tease you about it, but these other ladies are right.

I haven’t known you through the down times, but on the upswing, you should focus on yourself and what makes you happy.

If you finally feel like writing again, or just sitting around and feeling more like you-- that is what you should be doing.

Jennifer Leeland said...

YAY!!!!!!! I'm SO GLAD you're doing better.
Now, *puts on stern face* you'd better take care of yourself. You're not out of the woods. So, make another appointment and another until you are totally good to go.

Alice Audrey said...

Where'd I put those iron tabs? Gotta get me some of this.

Kaige said...

Glad to hear you're back on track. I've been worried about you, even if I haven't said it out loud. Guess you were listening to your body's cravings for more energy, just feeding it the wrong type.


jodi said...

Deanna, I sat there and prayed and prayed, and when it got really bad--I prayed some more. And as I was writing out the funeral directions, the "save" didn't work and it vanished. I have the feeling God is trying to keep me on the straight and narrow. You are absolutely right, the right doctor is a godsend. :)

The whole super woman thing? Hmmm...nah, just joking. It took me writing out my will and the guardianship papers to realize I need balance in my life.

Hailey, I love the mentor program. I'm always amazed when I get to work with such great people. It's a huge draw for me. :)

lol, Jen. I'm hoping this first appt is the last one. They're doing a bunch of ultrasounds and hopefully they'll find the problem.

:) Alice!!

I swear, if I didn't know too much was bad, I'd be popping iron like candy. I'm so clear, it's like a ten pound gorilla climbed off my head. I was so fuzzy and it took so long to concentrate.

Kaige, yeah--I could feel it too, but since I'd never experienced it before, I didn't have a baseline. WebMD is not a good idea when you have symptoms that could be a lot of different things. I have so much stuff from late November/early December that got backed up because I kept zoning out. I'd walk into the hall, and stop--staring at the wall--and still be there ten minutes later. My email boxes are full and I think I deleted some bills by mistake.

Thanks for worrying. :) You're right about the energy.'s strange. I haven't had more than a Coke in the last two days and I still feel wired. :)

Anonymous said...

Never-ever google symptoms. When my Dd had her problems she kept googling her symptons and running ot me, crying, and I'd have to talk her off the ledge.

I LOVE my iron tabs, and I'm so happy that you're feeling great! And, I feel like you when I take them all the time-I call them my super power pills.

Keep taking them!