A friend recently told me, "I don't know if I'd be able to put myself out there like that." Funny how a simple statement can trigger thought-strings.
I blog. I like blogging.
I don't consider it being out there, because hey--it's my computer, and it's sitting right here, and I've got my diet Pepsi and it's all womb-like. Maybe a noisy womb, all Grand Theft Auto and screaming kids, but still--there's an illusion of privacy.
But my family has been reading my blog, and I don't know how I feel about that--it's more of a gray zone than anything I've hit so far. I know lots of people who use their blogs to connect with family, and I know people who write into a void, random thoughts that once written vanish into blogger-land like snags in dark water.
Back in the eighteen hundreds, there were these guys--pilots on the great Mississippi paddle wheelers--who spent their lives studying the river. Once or twice a month, I check out different blogs and follow links. Sometimes I find a place I like--sometimes I dip out fast. Like a pilot with my plumb line, I toss my string overboard and chart the snags.
Sometimes when I'm feeling particularly adventurous, I click the "view next blog" button. Some blogs are almost a little "too" raw, and some are stilted--but they're all expressions of self. This is me, this is who I am--hear me, see me--listen to me.
People visit, and sometimes, they return. I guess my family doesn't have google-accounts in the same way I don't have a LiveJournal ID. And I don't allow anonymous comments. Spam bothers me. It's delicious fried, but it's an acquired taste.
My family doesn't take me seriously. I figure they don't have a pilot.
7 comments:
Have you ever tried to pilot a boat on the Mississippi? It's hard. I speak from vast experience grounding a barge in a simulation at the Mississippi River Museum.
I am thankful my family doesn't read my blog. Shudder.
My mother leaves comments on mine, usually recipe corrections. She's a food scientist. I'm not going to argue.
She is an avid reader with a taste that includes Romance, so when I saw all the invites Avon gave us, I sent one to her. Big mistake. She gave me a 3 when the non-zero-bandits were giving me 4s and 5s. I tried to not give her any more, but she demanded them. I insisted she at least read some of my competition before she scored me. It messed with her as a reader so she couldn't even enjoy the books in her currently-reading pile.
lol, Alice--I remember the zero bandits. I remember the two times I gave a zero, I almost cringed, but they were pretty bad. My mom read that, too. I sent her the link and she said, "I really don't like this kind of stuff, but it's interesting."
*sigh*
Damned with faint praise.
I'm thinking about something in first person present, just for her.
I stop writing, my fingers drop from the keyboard. I look over at Jeanna's post, my gaze moving like lightning bugs in the hazy June twilight. I say, "damn--"I" wanna pilot a barge!!!" *wah*
Jeanna--honestly, I wonder why they do. They don't like my writing, think I need to re-focus my life on the yard and a day job, dinner and laundry.
I've got to the point where I close the door and turn off my phone. I need my alone-time.
Having a blog online is just another form of socializing--only for the most part, you do it with anonymous people or people you've never met face-to-face. Like in Real Life, it's usually a slow process of getting to know each other. And sometimes it's easier sharing with people you don't see on a daily basis. Freeing.
My mom reads my blog, too, but she only like the funny, upbeat entries. My spy stuff doesn't interest her and she doesn't get me when I go left of center. Actually, pretty much nobody gets me when I go left of center, lol.
I used to blog more about my personal life when I first started over at AOL. That's when it was just a small community, though. And it was new. A lot of us just got high on putting our thoughts out there and receiving comments.
My mom DOES like the stuff and still damned me with faint praise. Sigh.
Unhinged, I kind of, sort of get you when you go left of center. I think. At least I don't mind when you do.
I don't know, I think relatives reading your stuff is a lawsuit waiting to happen.
Being damned with faint praise is damning indeed. You know your audience, it's in your head already.
Maybe tmw I'll get out of dodge and pilot a barge for ya, Jodi woman.
lol, Jeanna--thank you :)
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