Thursday, April 17, 2008

Lonely in a crowd

I've always been a solitary person--books were always my escape route. I guess it was yesterday's version of the internet geek. Why interact when I could hang with Mara at the court of Haphetsut and eat honey cakes?

I haven't been doing a lot of reading lately. No time. Too much running, first for a house, then for furniture--the water, the cable, the internet, garbage, sewage, power, gas. How big I want my trash cans, how soon I want my power? Are there cups? (, there weren't cups. I forgot. Blankets either, and it's going to snow this weekend.) I did find a desk, thank God.

I have a desk with a dinette chair (desk doesn't automatically mean chair). A lamp Cowboy talked me into taking. WALLS AND WALLS of books, magazines and data cds. A file sorter, and a pen.

I'm very proud of the pen. It's pink, with the RWA logo. I think it came in the goodie bag with the luggage tag. People always look at me funny when they see the luggage tag, but it makes my bag easy to spot.

I'm with people, family mostly--and how odd is it that now I'm worried family might read my blog? Lots of people use their blog to communicate, sort of like a mass e-mail without the copy-copy, but I've never been one of them. I flew beneath the radar, trusting in the fact that I have one hell of an honest family.

No one likes my writing, lol.

...but despite people and family. It's lonely. There's no one to talk to, and no one who understands, or is just willing to sit and listen to me vent without changing the subject, or giving me these looks like something is wrong. I guess Connor is going to have one hell of a lot of angst.


Alice Audrey said...

It's all grist for the mill, but if you're feeling lonely, you're always welcome at my place. Lord knows I hardly ever leave it. :S

Kaige said...

*hugs* I know what you mean. There are very few people that I feel that are from "our tribe" where we are. It was nice geeking out on music last night at dinner even though two of the guys felt a bit left out of the conversation.

Lord knows I don't have a local writing geek circle beyond the DH and I know he humors me lots. :)

Definitely make use of your online contacts. I wouldn't have survived the early years with my kids without outside contact and adult conversation even if it wasn't face to face but mostly in text.

Jennifer McKenzie said...

Me! Me!!! Call me!!! I know what you mean. You're closer now. You'd better be careful or me and Gwen and Feisty and Jenna and any other West Coast Divas I can scrape up will come and find you.
I can't WAIT for July. Wait! I think I've said that before.
*tamps down enthusiasm*
Um, I look forward to seeing you in July. *says sedately*

Unhinged said...

#1: You can choose to go private with the blog and only allow the in crowd access.

(sorry. sorry. joking.)

#2: Can you photograph that pen on the outside of your luggage? I gotta see what's drawing a second glance...

#3: Don't forget that there are a number of people (some whom you've never met) who are still thinking of you. When you feel most alone, I hope you think of this...I know I'm not the only one who's thought of you this past week.

#4: If you say no one likes your writing again, I'm going to write an embarrassing blog post about you.

{{{ Jodi }}}

jodi said...

you guys are all wonderful--I always show up at your restaurant, Alice, even if I don't comment. (after twenty or thirty comments, it's a long way to scroll :)

Yeah Kaige--writers are a strange bunch. We're so much better on-line, or at least I think so. I call you all friends, and my kids are always correcting me. I used to give them the virtual friends lecture all the time. I wonder how it got to be so different when I grew up:)

Jen--have no fear, from your picture, I will find you. And make no mistake, you can hear the Daniel day Lewis echoes. You'll probably go, damn--she's really anal and serious. AND she's got four business suits, one for each day. AND a girdle. I'm gaining a little weight sitting around moping, lol...

Y'know, Unhingey--I seriously thought about comment moderation or just allowing certain people, but--hey, can't stop people from reading, even family. You're a friend, thanks...

((((hugs to all of you)))

Alice Audrey said...

You gotta come when it isn't Thursday. Or - um - Saturday. The rest of the week there's hardly anyone there. Honest. :)

Unhinged said...


Just checkin'. Just checkin'.

Jeanna said...

I hear ya, glad you're here though, yah? I almost prefer no one reads my blog, bad enough I get "I haven't seen any of your articles lately."