Friday, August 17, 2007

Two posts in one day?

'das so weird...

Just about to log off after doing some blog-maintenance, when I realized. HEY!! Forgot to say, I'm FINISHED!!!!!! Done, finito. All pau, and THE END.

Hell, it's a new ending, and a new middle, and a lot of new stuff, but all in all, I'm very happy. It reads tight and fast, and *sigh* even though it's now "smaller" than a silhouette romantic suspense, (by maybe ten thousand words)it's imho...way better.

And I can breathe again, and I have a new (well, new to me) job, and my other job (yeah, keeping the second job for now) is okay with my new availability. I'm thinking I'm gonna finish up that Nine Tail wip I have on a back-burner. I might (in between the two jobs, cleaning up Nine Tails, and writing Kill Velocity, even do an edit on the "regency that won't die". I think everyone has one. I've been waiting years for Eliza to finish her regency "wanker" novel and sell it.)

I dunno, got to think about it. I think I'd watched too much Outlaw Star when I wrote it. That Japanese fixation on red hair and scars rubbed off on me, lol.

I did think long and hard about "creating a scene" as a bridge while I was running through edits. So gonna do a quick imitation of UNK while it's fresh.

BUILDING A SCENE AS A BRIDGE

1) What needs to happen?
2) When it ends?
3) Where the people are, what they're wearing, and the conflict...

I'm going to use the scene I wrote as an example. In the scene just before the new stuff, I had Jen launch herself at Kate to protect Corlis, and they both tumble off the platform with Jen beating on Kate to shake her gun loose. Laura pointed out that all of a sudden, DalCon is nowhere in sight, Keegan fades out after exchanging small talk with Fallon and while the scene worked, it didn't work within the framework of the larger picture, which was Keegan and Jen's relationship.

So I needed...

Keegan to have a damned good reason not to follow Jen off the platform.

Corlis and Fallon to be more involved, not with each other, but with rescuing Jen and Keegan from Kate's terrorist group.

And to focus the action so that when Percy's security force arrives, there's more than a throwaway line to explain how they got there.

so I did this.

yeah, it's pretty disjointed

Keegan needs to lose his grip on Jen, and Jen needs to roll off the edge of the platform (it's getting dark, put dark in there) Mention the dead bodies. Deacon and Dsve.

When last seen, Deacon was in the courtyard and Dave was sprawled over the altar. Jen is still wearing her pink thing, and Keegan is only in cargo pants and his boots. (make sure to go back and check to see you gave his jacket to her) Maybe have Kate look at him? Dunno. Mention it somehow. The bandage has got to be soaked through by now and his pants are bloody. (which thigh again?)

WHO stops Keegan from following Jen? Where the hell is Kimo? Get him up the stairs and into postion behind Kate. Give him a gun or weapon. Have him be the catalyst.

---which puts a lot of "has to happens" into place, and "how it happens".

I need Keegan to try to stop Jen. I need someone to stop Keegan. I need something to happen so a firefight explodes and occupies DalCon just as Jen attacks Kate. I also noted where the people are in relation to the H/H, what they're wearing, how they feel, if they're injured, and logic. If Jen falls off the platform, she'd damned well better land on her aunt or she'll be hurt. So I had to orient Jen in relation to the ground as she fell.

It's sorta kinda like...stage directions.

2 comments:

Jennifer McK said...

It's EXACTLY like stage directions!!!! Worst part? Sex scenes are like this too. And thank God for editors that have caught me when I get my stage directions screwed up.
Great post, Cup.

jodi said...

Jen...you should have SEEN the edits on my sex scenes. OMFG. If I didn't think the woman would kill me, I'd post them and have a total cringfest. Like the part where she said, "so if he's on top, why is he doing this and I thought she was on top...maybe you should go back through this and re-read it."

*sigh*