Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Random lecture thoughts, Bainbridge thoughts...just, random everything

Bainbridge Island has got to be--hands down--"the" most overpriced excuse for a day trip. Quaint, crowded and full of brand name cars, people and clothing. Flowers everywhere (next to the art-metal benches), galleries (art for your second home!), and kids that didn't look real. I took a picture of the church (I think it's habit)

...but I'm not a fan of New England style churches.

Then I stood around with a bunch of people who--of course, gave me the total brush off for writing romance. Sat in an auditorium with people who thought nothing of asking questions like, "if the protagonist is already a fully evolved character, why would he need a character arc?" Hague of course, started to talk about character arc as plot driver, (so your stuff isn't boring?) after which I had the privilege of listening to a discourse (it wasn't a talk, it was a "discourse") on Ayn Rand and Fountain Head, by members of the literary writing group who sponsored the lecture. At which point I started wondering if it'd be okay to stand up and shout, "do you freaking mind? I paid MONEY to hear this man."

Every little nitpick took time away from MY five hours.

Why did they pull "Hague" the pop-film guru, instead of the Poet Laureate or the people from Breadloaf. It was amazing, "this man" was amazing. I've never seen information presented in a way that was so easy to digest. His voice, his presentation--every gesture, all designed for impact. He gave out one piece of paper--his structural breakdown--and expanded on it. For five hours.

I think I'm going to have problems with one. Luckily, I got shifted to one of the older libraries. As long as there aren't too many literary types staring at me, waiting for me to use expletive construction and flub my lines, I should be fine.

I'm worried, because lately I'm thinking about how I'll come across. Will I be chatty, like the presenters at the last GSRWA lecture I went to? Or stiff and awkward, like the Morrell lecture (it was boring--what can I say?)Or...will I be wave my arms crazy like I talk to Cowboy?

I'm starting to think I need a FULL night of sleep, breakfast, chocolate and a four pack of AMP.


Unhinged said...

Have you ever spoken in front of an audience before?

Me, if I had to lecture like this (which is NEVER going to happen, I won't allow it), I'd have to bring one of those squoosh balls with me to grip and squeeze. I'd hold it up at the beginning of the lecture and tell everyone that the squoosh ball is the only thing keeping me from passing out in fright.

Or...hmmmm. Maybe I'd go in costume. Wear a wig and have someone do my make-up different, and then BE a totally different person.

I dunno. I'm just glad it's not me. Good luck!

deanna said...

"Discourse," :o). You should wave your arms crazy.

At the *huge* gatherings to which I've spoken I tend to say, "This strikes me..." until people wonder what sort of violent street I live on.

jodi said..., Deanna--I start all my conversations with, "so....I was thinking..." Cowboy says it's my most annoying tic.

er...well, I moderate at Nationals. I usually do five. The first is horrible because I stare blindly into the crowd and stammer, the second I forget something, but I'm steadier, and the last three are pretty okay. I hope I don't stare blindly into the crowd and stammer. :)