uhm...yay? I have a/e appointments

I have no idea what I was thinking--maybe it was just my horribly greedy, want it all miser-ness coming out. But I've been volunteering and applying for everything at Nationals.

It's four days of non-stop--either, partying and getting with friends, or putting your nose to the grindstone and being all terribly stick-in-the-mud. There's common ground, sure, but for some reason I can't seem to go from "let's hang out and get drunk, maybe grope Chris Kessler", to "Here's my card, how do you spell your name again? I'll drop that in the mail as soon as the conference is over."

It's a whole 'nother mind set.

I did on one hand, spend a whole lot of money--I hope this isn't the new low ball figure for future RWA conferences, lol--on being there. And I'd like to put faces to all the names, but...in some ways I miss Jennifer Komatsu. (JenK) I liked her, she was cool--and we both had the exact same mind set--a/e appointments (she spent two whole days sitting in the waiting area in the hopes there would be cancellations. I spent two whole days volunteering, making my own opportunities. In a lot of ways, it worked out well, because I knew she was there--knew what she had, and made sure she saw every single agent and editor on her hit list, 'cause yeah--that's what friends are for. She got handfuls of requests. Then she dropped out of writing because she got handfuls of rejections, but I still think she gave up too soon.) We went to publisher spotlights, and lectures, and in-between, she hung out with the Divas, and I moderated lectures and helped wherever.

Maybe this is a post on how I really didn't click with RD. They were really nice, but...I dunno. I just...didn't fit in real-life. Maybe I was trying too hard.

The more "myself" I was, the more I enjoyed myself. I talked to everyone, and met everyone, and had serious talks with agents and editors--none of whom bought me, but to my surprise, I found I enjoyed talking with.

Anna Genoese is cool. Very. I enjoyed the brief conversation I had with her, I know I'll never write for Tor, but damn--what a genuinely nice person, no matter what pops up on the net. She was just sideways, and I don't think some people deal well with that.

So anyway--there I was--at RD this morning when I saw Jen's post about the appointments, and I said--"OMG!! I need to get some." Regardless of whether I had anything to pitch, and I did.

Now I'm in full panic mode, trying to figure out if it's something I subconsciously wanted, or something I was greedy to want, or maybe it's just all you can eat buffet syndrome.

Take all you want to eat, but eat all you take.