Friday, April 25, 2008


Part Three redux

Maybe I knew I'd want to keep talking about this, because it's got to be one of my favorite soapboxes. I'm an amateur philosopher at heart, lol.

In some ways, forming a strong internal core is not enough, and maybe that's the heart of Connor's issues. You live up or down to how people see you. Okay--maybe not everyone, but I know I do.

People are complex, they've got layers. Jo Beverly did a good job describing it when she talked about names and how they bring out different aspects of a person's personality. Everyone has many names. Not all of them are "use" names.

Some are labels.

The person who calls me their trainer gets a part of me that's way different from someone who calls me their friend. There are things I will and won't do, that I can and can't say. It's an aspect of my personality, that for the time it's at the forefront--dominates who and what I am.

I knew this guy once--great guy, or at least I considered him a great guy. Funny, easy to work with, (no, I don't mean you, Cowboy...) grew up in a real bad part of town, ran with the local gang, got shot a lot--took his best friend and got out, but not all the way out, because when you grow up a certain way, it doesn't just shape you, it shapes how you see the world. So he thought, okay--this is the way I am, I can't "be" any more. So he settled, took a crappy job and existed. When people looked at him, they thought, big guy, lots of muscle--too many scars, from the 'hood, and pigeonholed him, which in turn created an artificial box that defined who and what he was.

But one day, this girl went up to him--and like Hague says in his lecture on Identity to Essence--saw the man he could be--not the man he was. She created him a hero--and for her, he was one.

It wasn't like some people said, her trying to change him--it was that through her, he could change. Somewhere deep inside him, there was a little piece of belief.


Gwen Hayes said...

And that right there is a common theme in my stories.

My characters have labeled themselves one thing...and they meet someone who sees something beyond the label. They don't change to be with that person--they just let that other stuff shine instead of..well not shining.

jodi said...

lol--what's that movie?? The "shining" y'know everyone's got a little piece of "shine" in them, good thing not every one has Jack Nicholson trying to kill them. :)

Unhinged said...

I really like the way you think. You can go deep enough (wannabe philosopher, pah, you ARE a philosopher) and hit my oh, yeah, I know that buttons. Plus, you give examples and well, that's a huge bonus.

While reading, I remembered a scene in JERRY MAGUIRE when Dorothy confides to her sister that she loves Jerry. "I love him for the man he wants to be. And I love him for the man he almost is."

And just imagine how difficult it be to show you HAVE a heart if no one believes you have one?

Love these posts. Love 'em.

jodi said...

lol--I am so sending you a surprise then. In fact, I'm doing it right now.

Jeanna said...

You know, I feel there's a Jack Nicholson out there trying to kill you for everyone.

jodi said...

I love that show!!! That part where they're all running through the hotel and Jack is limping along, grinning like the Joker in Batman, and he chops through the door and the boy escapes through the window. DAMN that's a good show.