Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Razors and a complete screeching stop...

So anyway, the other day I was driving down the road (eating car food, talking on the phone, and listening to RWA lectures while at the same time trying to find a pen to make notes) and I discovered I hadn't thieved enough pens. I didn't have a single writing utensil in my car--which btw is my biggest nightmare. Being caught without a pen?

I'd just dropped my kid off at school, and I figured, okay--her bag will have a pen. I mean, she's my daughter, she has pens. So I stick my hand in her bag, while driving down the road, eating and talking and listening--into a razor. Let me tell you--there's this horrible feeling like something is wrong, your body goes into shock and all you can do is wonder, "why is there red stuff all over my hand?"

I tried to wipe it off, (thought it was candy) it turned out to be blood, and I shoved my finger in my mouth (doesn't everyone?) and gagged, because it was a LOT of blood. (lol--so not a vampire) So in addition to everything else I'm trying to drive and find a bandage, and the band-aid is too small, and the Chik-fil-a napkins are getting soaked through, driving with one hand up in the air, putting pressure on my finger, and going, "omg, omg...get OFF the road. Get off right NOW!"

It took a pad, five bandages and walking around all day with my hand in the air to get it to stop. I couldn't go to the doctor because, I mean, what were they going to do for me that I could do for myself? I sliced a chunk OFF, didn't slice a hole IN.

Turned out my kid (the appearance perfectionista?) was dragging around shaving razors to touch up her legs in short skirts. Safety razor? Right. Three blades of doom is more like it. I finally got up the nerve to go look for the razor the day after (when I was washing out the purse...) and it had chunks of Jodi caught in the blades. Bleaaaah. I threw every razor in the house out and bought my kid a rotating head electric rechargeable. I can't look at razors anymore.

It took HOURS to get the bandages off, they'd solidifed into the wound. But...good thing is I got my hand back and didn't throw up. And I can use my finger again. And my kid is no longer allowed to carry a razor around (that rotating head thing is fine)

Bad thing is that my store opening was shoved back again. The Halloween store is being evil. I know it's nothing. I still get paid, but I have eight people who're hurting for hours, and training to do, and I can't catch some of them, and I have to go sit in the mall and wait for people to show.

It's a complete dead-stop, and I was geared up for today.


jodi said...

wow!! I'd been spammed. BY A BLOGGER. How very creepy. I had to delete their comment.

So...Tara, if you're reading this and actually GO BACK on some of your spamming advertisements. Kindly go F*CK YOURSELF. Thank you.

...er, this is not directed at anyone else. :)I guess there are jerks in Blogger-land like anywhere else and one of them found me.

Gwen said...

um...your razor story squicked me out.

jodi said...

Yeah, I'm a wimp. It made me quesy right down to my toes.

Jennifer McKenzie said...

WOW! That's an awful story. I hate blogger spammers.
You should read all about the new technique some authors are using. Buying blog comments. There's a post on it over at Dear Author. I was so shocked to see that people PAY other people to leave blog comments raving about a book.

Unhinged said...

Oh, geeze.

I had to ask.

(You must'a shoved your hand in that purse something FIERCE!)


jodi said...

yeah, you did. I go on and on about stuff, so I knew it'd turn into a post instead of an answer, lol.

And yes, driving and grabbing. NEVER do that again. In some ways it's made me a much better person (now I pull over on the side of the road before I look for things :)

Alice Audrey said...

Oh man, you SHOULD have gone to a doctor. Maybe they could have cauterized it or something.