Will Work for Noodles

Wussing out on Emotions

noreply@blogger.com (jodi) — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 04:26:00 +0000

I know it’s a pet peeve, but I can’t stand characters who don’t know why they’re falling in love. And I don’t mean stupid people, but a smart hero or heroine on the verge of committing right here and now—irrevocably forever moreover to die for the other, or kill themselves, or do some horrific act they wouldn’t do otherwise.

She didn’t know why she loved him? He didn’t know what drew him to her?

Seriously--somewhere deep down inside, your character knows what’s going on.

In all fairness, it might interrupt the story flow. A fast scene shouldn’t slow down for introspection. But if they’re just standing around with nothing to do, wondering what it is about the other person that makes dying for love a viable option, it wusses out on the emotional understructure of the story.

Character is always true to him or herself, which means in any given situation, there are a limited amount of outcomes--to go back to the ball pit analogy; there are only so many balls. True chaos, despite sounding messed-up, is a “determined system”, which means minor changes create huge numbers of totally different paths, but every path must make some kind of sense when looked at as a whole. In other words, the balls are in a confined area—even if it’s a really big confined area—courtyards and hallways can’t just appear. They’re either there and accounted for, or not. There are limits to what can and can’t happen.

Character-driven stories are about characters, what they’re doing and how they feel. Sometimes they don’t want to face their feelings and that’s significant in itself. I had a “something about him” scene--and so do lots of people. It’s only recently I’ve started breaking them down into "the writer knows what’s going on and is really deep in the character’s head", and "the only reason these two characters are in love is because the author said so."

Back that up—

--this is not about rough draft.

If anything it’s a layering issue for when the writer goes in to tighten the story.

ie?
Rough draft:

She didn’t know what it was about him that drew her, but she was desperately afraid she was falling in love. TAKE ANOTHER LOOK MAYBE EXPAND

Maybe when the rough is finished, a good hard look says the best way to get Keira’s emotional state across is to leave her oblivious, because you “want” her to be pole-axed at a later date. In which case, this works with a little polish.

Or maybe you want her to be a little more self-aware and throw in a little foreshadowing to make a coming scene crank emotionally? Then you’d take another look—this time at the actual words.

“…she was desperately afraid…”

On some level, even if the author won’t admit it, she knows what’s up.

Desperately afraid? Of what?

Why is the growth of this relationship a bad idea? Is there something about the hero that terrifies Kiera, even while it draws her close? Is she protecting someone, is she worried she might betray her family? Is the hero a bad influence on someone she loves? Does he touch something in her that’s outside the norm or wrong for her time period?

Maybe Keira is a werewolf and her dad is the alpha. Maybe she’s falling in love with the alpha of the pack moving into their territory. Maybe leaving to follow her heart will start a war with the potential to kill everyone in her family.

Why not— (warning. I am not good at writing paranormals, but for some reason I've been feeling the urge, lol...)
John's strength drew her. (what pulls her to him) He crossed into the Pack’s territory and watched her with hot green eyes. (a little bit of foreshadowing. He’s trying to take over the territory and now he’s not just right up against Keira, he’s inside her family’s boundaries) She stepped closer (she’s drawn) and lifted her chin (submission and defiance because she’s torn). “Promise to leave the Valley and I’ll go with you.”

…her big issue. Need and desire vs. loyalty and fear of losing the people who—until now—have meant everything to her.

Exploring the issues behind not-knowing takes time and thought. Even making the deliberate choice to leave it short right now, still leaves a hole for exploring the issues later. Being deliberately blind, or unwilling to put in the work cheats not just your characters, but your reader.

Time for a chocolate break

noreply@blogger.com (jodi) — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 04:40:00 +0000

I am two quarts low on my chocolate intake and about a gallon short on my caffeine, so in honor of stuffing and drinking myself into a happy writing mood I made brownies. And since I'm one of those people who can't leave well enough alone, I made a shortbread crust, added some kirsch syrup (because I like kirsch) and topped it off with a nice ganache.

It's...er, also been awhile since I did ganache, so I totally forgot the steps. Not that it's hard, but as my chocolate seized in the pan I totally freaked (chocolate!! Can't waste chocolate. Especially good chocolate) and ended like Luke shooting the Death star.

Use butter, Jodi. It was so totally internal dialog. Butter is a fat product and will save it...

It's just like shooting wamp rats back home.

FREE!!!!!!!! For three and a half weeks of moderate freedom

noreply@blogger.com (jodi) — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 07:24:00 +0000

Yay!!! I am so totally out of behavioral science--no more psych profiles. No touchie-feelie brain gropes and people wondering why I can't be normal. Never thought I'd hate something I wanted to do.

I also took International Business. Lots of fun. Open-ended questions. Interesting topics. A lot of stuff I can put in StallingCo's business model. And no more pure accounting. I'm done with the book (the whole book!) and turning it in for Christmas money. After a year and a half of accounting and taking prerequisites to take "more" accounting, I can finally shut it down.

Next quarter, after some "real world" searches, I decided to take specialized Quickbooks. I know it's just software, but it's listed at the very top of every job I've looked at. "must be proficient in Quickbooks"

Quickbooks is a 1-credit course because it focuses on "facets". I figured I'd take vendors/banks first (to get that A/P going) and customers when I finish, since it's open enrollment.

I also wanted to take something interesting since I'll be graduating soon, but since I haven't graduated college-level English, it's Intro to English Composition or nothing. I took a look at the textbook and had a knee-jerk reaction. Flashback to when I got kicked out of the University of Hawaii for telling my English teacher where to stick his five sentence paragraphs.

Maybe I'll take something to do with birds. I've made friends with the crows. Love those things. So intelligent. They see my car coming and wait for Cheerios.

Different is not bad. It's just different.

noreply@blogger.com (jodi) — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 03:22:00 +0000

I'm not trying to chase off people who get itchy when self-examination comes up, but ever since the Black Diamond class I've been thinking about pantsing. I always pictured my workshop as random thoughts on structure, but after the umpteenth person told me, "I thought something was wrong with me," I realized I'd always thought something was wrong with me, too.

I plotted and outlined, used index cards and turning points. You name it, I studied it. I must have listened to every RWA lecture for the last five years at least six times, and read every book I could find before branching out into screenwriting. I've wiki'd and spread-sheeted, interviewed and story-boarded. But like the U2 song--I couldn't find what I was looking for, and while I had ideas I'd been working on over the years, none of them had gelled into cohesive theory because it was too radically outside the box.

There are pantsers who talk and write articles, but it's usually "my journey" or "how I do things." Nothing solid on how the field works as a whole. Grammar is there for a reason, but rules were created by people, and like all "current best practices" are subject to change. Knowledge and "school" are not necessarily the same, like plot and structure aren't necessarily the same.

Back in the days before RWA, we were isolated. We learned through trial, error and desperate fumbling. As a group we've evolved into the biggest teaching organization in the world, and in the process grown rigid and intolerant. Telling new writers and people who haven't sold, "Take what you can use, and leave the rest, but remember--if you do this, you can sell that," is bad.

Gina once said the good thing about romance writers is they're nice. And the bad thing about romance writers is--right, they're nice.

Nice people create crit groups whose individual members take lectures and workshops and create peer pressure.

Do "this". Think "this" way. Listen to me, just the other day a New York Times Bestselling author told me that she always scratches herself with her right hand and uses a broad felt tip as she storyboards. You have to scratch yourself too. Everyone does.

Everyone plots. Everyone uses the "W", everyone colors description in red and internal dialog in blue, you've got to have white space, you've got to use third-person.

It's your process.

No one can tell you how to write. Some people don't need a plot starting out, and that doesn't make them wrong. It makes them different. Multi-dimensional thinking is "polyphonic." The definition (from PC aka personal computer magazine) of polyphonic is "The ability to play back a number of musical notes simultaneously. For example, 16-voice polyphony means a total of 16 notes, or waveforms, can be played concurrently."

In other words, some people can multi-task books and some people prefer to work on one thing at one time. If you can see all sixteen notes, that's pretty cool. If you like the purity of a single note--that's cool too. Character-driven books appeal to certain people, and plot driven books appeal to certain other people.

Like a faith journey, organic writers grow through stages--the joy of writing you experience when you first start out, affiliative writing, with its emphasis on community and belonging; searching writing with its doubts and critical judgments, and owned writing, writing that has been fully examined and is fully lived as part of one's personal identity.

Some people don't get faith journeys, and prefer you talk of, look at, or think about your journey in ways that don't work for you. Hailey is right, sometimes people can mess you up, not out of spite or cussedness, but out of love. Knowing and sharing what's right for them doesn't make it right for you. And trying to conform is like rejecting God. If you truly believe, saying you don't is a betrayal of your soul.

For someone to say, "this" is good when you can see something else--something intangible is better, doesn't have one answer. There are many answers, just like the many actions your character might or might not take.

My very first craft guest blog!!

noreply@blogger.com (jodi) — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 00:03:00 +0000

Squee!!

I know it's a lot of exclamation points, but it's exclamation point worthy.

This was probably the hardest thing I ever did. Not so much the actual post--which was like plucking an ingrown hair from the back of my neck--but getting past the books I've been reading, their word-usage, and my pride, to the point where I just threw my hands up and went, "I'm odd. They'll have to deal with it."

Guess I was afraid of looking stupid. All those big names and me. It's a strange feeling, but totally worth it.

Running in the dark, chaos theory for pantsers

Sometimes it's easy to forget

noreply@blogger.com (jodi) — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 05:07:00 +0000

Yesterday my line partner and I were standing around in the back, and I was making soup (making soup is my actual job. Soups and alfredos) and the music is thumping loud enough to wake the dead. Not that I have anything against Metallica, but at eight in the morning--yeah, it's a little much.

So my line partner says, "Do you think they'll change the station, Yodi?" And I said, knowing the asst boss loves Emma for being a model employee--fast and complacent--"Emma, he'll do anything if you ask."

So she smiles at him as he comes around the corner, being all feminine and helpless, doing the eyelash-thing and asks him to change the station. And he blinks. Probably because the music is so loud it's hard to hear. So I yell, "She wants you to change the station to easy-listening, because the music is giving her a headache."

Of course, he gives me that suspicious look like he thinks I'm instigating, which I'm not because it's eight am in the morning and after two hours of sleep I'm not really in the mood. And he says, "Of course, Emma. I know just the station." And turns on the Christmas station. Emma is thrilled. Even though he thought he was being an ass, I love Christmas music. Even "Seattle" Christmas music, which involves a lot of Frank Sinatra and coffee-parodies.

An hour later, he rushes back around the corner. "Something happened to the station!"

Ave Maria is playing and this guy can't deal with it. "What is this weird mumbo-jumbo b-sht?" he yells. (From a guy who once asked if I was a Christian.)
It's my favorite song so I try to explain, but he's having none of it.

He wants his Rudolf and all this creepy latin stuff freaks him out.

Almost Christmas

noreply@blogger.com (jodi) — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 02:51:00 +0000

All right--not really, but considering it's two paychecks away. It's a lot closer than I like. I'm thinking about a tree, and thinking is probably as far as I'll go. Last year my youngest son bought a huge tree--the biggest we've ever had. The Christmas ornaments looked like a penny's worth of caviar on a blini. I went out, bought more, and it was still sparse.

This year he says, "Is it time for the cheap tree?" And after I finished kicking myself for not buying a fancy pre-lit clearance tree last year, I said, "yes, it is. And don't forget to cut the end off, so the tree can absorb water."

Last year he forgot, and that thing was so dry I was afraid to turn the lights on. When we finally threw it away, all the needles fell off, and I was still sweeping needles off the front porch in March.

The guy across the street from me has his holiday lights up. He put them up the day after Halloween. It makes me miss my old neighborhood. Across the street, where I could see it from the window of my bedroom, there was a single decoration. Bright neon red like a beer sign.

"Believe"

No angst--promise...

noreply@blogger.com (jodi) — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 21:11:00 +0000

Thanks for bearing with me. Sometimes I think I should be one of my own characters. No wonder everyone I write seems to have issues. Thank you Jax, for going out of your way to cheer me up and thank you Jeanna for being a peachy kind of person, even when you think you're a lemon. And you, Cowboy. Thanks for calling me so I can bang my head on the wall and whine, lol.

I tell people all the time to have a little patience because sooner or later bad stuff goes away. The days before Thanksgiving are particularly bad for me. January will be bad, but that's still a little ways off.

I'm almost finished with that blog post I'm doing for the FF&P. Little do they know they're getting Jodi's take on chaos theory. And for that, I blame Kimberly. A while back she asked me to explain vector theory in writing and I sat there for days, looking at the book I was currently reading, trying to figure out how to explain it.

People seem to think using big words makes them sound intelligent, one of the reasons I've always like Dunne. Big ideas, little words.

This book was nothing but big words, arranged like the writer had taken some kind of overly OCD version of college composition for tech-manuals. But as I was going through it, I realized parts of it sounded like another book I'd recently bought. Narrative and Discourse, by Seymour Chatman, which in turn was the basis for some really obscure screenwriting stuff I'd read. (I find a lot of research books by reading footnotes.)

Back in the seventies, Chatman did some totally amazing work on character and organic structure, although he didn't call it that. Being an ivory-tower type, he labeled it a variation on discourse analysis. Looking back on it from an outside perspective I only see traces of his work in the craft field, mostly in screenwriting.

Rhetoric seems to have two entirely separate sides. One is that normal college "make things difficult so people think they're learning", but it's really just recycled theories and rote learning, and the other is like craft analysis for the sheer joy of craft analysis, finding out "why" and "how".

After I realized vector theory was simply a rewrite of Chatman's kernel theory with a math angle, and not just a rewrite, but THREE HUNDRED pages of repetition, I spent some time at work (I have way too much time at work) thinking about how certain algebraic equations reflect the way plot is constructed, vectors and kernels and...came up with chaos theory. Probably the best way to describe the non-linear construction of kernels and satellites without actually de-constructing a story.

I guess what I'm trying to say is it's an overview of exactly how character-driven stories work, not from the inside, like in kernel theory, but like if you had it on a plate and were looking down at it. Craft for the joy of knowing.

Thursday already

noreply@blogger.com (jodi) — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 08:01:00 +0000

Okay, it's actually one minute past midnight. But it's "technically" Thursday. I spent a couple of really good days doing A/P work for my boss (he's trying to help and I need the hands-on) and started in on my Christmas cookies.

I know it's early, but I spent years selling gingerbread for presents and I don't think my kids can get through the holidays without sugar unicorns and gingerbread trees. Just the sight of the unicorn cutter makes me nauseous. One batch makes 36 cookies, unless you make unicorns@48 to a batch. And no one ever ordered "just" one.

I once did 500 unicorns (with gold horns, white tails, and blue eyes) in exchange for a new-in-the-box Barbie mansion, complete with working elevator and rooftop spa. When she was small, my kid owned every Barbie, Skipper and variation known to mankind, including the modeling stage with the pretend-they're-walking conveyor belt and integrated sound system. Now that she's older, it's all about game-systems.

So far, so good. It keeps her mind off cars.

Not a lot of words

noreply@blogger.com (jodi) — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 00:31:00 +0000

...but I didn't want to leave the last post sitting around. Right after I posted it, I went to bed. Then I woke up and said, "Omg." Checking it out was like opening the lid on a box of snakes. I felt physically sick afterwards--and went to bed.

Probably a theme there.

I'm not sure if it's the time of year, or letting out some of the pressure makes me queasy. I'm leaning toward the last one.

I spent a lot of time praying and saying thanks for my blessings, of which I have quite a few, regardless. Later, I bought a bag of dark chocolate pomegranate candies from Costco because the sample lady suckered me into it. I sat there eating until I felt a little tight. Not the healthiest habit, but people get cravings for a reason, and I think I needed the chocolate.

I feel better.

Angst and darkness, but mostly angst...

noreply@blogger.com (jodi) — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 08:17:00 +0000

I've gone back to listening to lectures at work. For awhile I'd stopped. I think it's something I do when the noise in my head gets too intense to listen to for more than an hour at a time.

Last Christmas wasn't fun. I simply couldn't get into it. I didn't want a tree or presents, I didn't bake Christmas cookies. I didn't want any summer sausage or peppermint meltaways. I ended up buying a box of dark chocolate covered cherries and crying into the box. I know they're stupid one dollar candies from Wal-mart, but out of all the candies that come around at Christmas, they're my favorite. I used to buy them three or four boxes at a time, and when we were mad at each other, my husband and I would leave boxes of them out as peace offerings. There were usually stacks of these goofy boxes all over the house and in the freezer. We didn't always get along, but we were always trying to make-up.

Jack passed away a little under two years ago, right before our 28th anniversary, and it's taken me this long to say it. I don't like this time of year and I can't stand chocolate-covered cherries. I broke out in full body hives from head to toe on the anniversary of his death and carry Benadryl around like a life preserver.

I thought I'd worked through the grief spasms, but they're back. When I started working again, I had to come clean. I'd be working or thinking, and a song would come on the radio, or someone would say something and I'd start to cry.

People have started eying me again, like I'm going crazy, and one or two brave souls have tried telling me I should be over it. Like Jack was a dog that ran away, or a shoe I lost while hiking. He wasn't the nicest person, and he had serious issues, but whenever we went out together, even if it was to the grocery store--we'd hold hands. And I miss him.

Much calmer

noreply@blogger.com (jodi) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 03:01:00 +0000

Thank God for friends, and driving around in my car talking to myself--although I'm not sure if I'm supposed to admit that. I ate chocolate, drank lots of soda, did a little writing and listened to a fabulous RWA lecture by Christie Craig and Faye Hughes.

I'm a lecture-geek. I know most people don't come across well, but unless you have chemistry, don't lecture with a partner. Unless you have a strong personality, don't do a panel.

Most of all--unless you believe in something with your whole heart and soul, don't try to be "inspirational". Out of hundreds of lectures, I've only heard "three" inspirational lectures. Sharon Sala's "Writing is an Addiction", which I totally fan-girled over in DC because I was fortunate enough to be her moderator.

Sharon Sala is a wonderful, gracious lady and I've been reading her books since she was writing Silhouette IMs. The fact that she totally inspires me every time I listen to her "Addiction" lecture is just icing on the cake.

Barbara Keaton's "Write with Passion", which I won't lie about--I didn't listen to until I'd worked my way to the bottom of the 2008's, because I thought it was how to add sex to your single title. Talk about jump up and witness, this woman was on fire. I almost started yelling, "Amen!" (although it would have looked funny at work. It's bad enough I kept smiling. Smiling at something no one else can hear is also bad)

And "Make it Happen", by Christie Craig and Faye Hughes.

Wow.

Just wow.

Christie Craig believes. And for the time I spent listening to her--when I wasn't snuffling madly--I believed, too. I need to put these three particular lectures together for those bad days when I lose faith.

And buy more chocolate. That Dove bag didn't last long.

I shouldn't have gone

noreply@blogger.com (jodi) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 06:22:00 +0000

I'm not the nicest person--and I accept it. I'm probably everything my psych profile says and more, but I like to think I'm okay. I took behavioral science this quarter because I thought it would help with developing characters, but it's more like cleaning out the inside of my head and finding out all the ways I'm odd compared to the rest of the population.

My last assignment was to pinpoint areas I thought needed improvement, and to be honest--I think I'm fine. I have issues, but I'm working through them, and I like myself. In gratitude for the scholarship I won recently, I went to the scholarship banquet. Not the smartest move on my part.

I felt like a short sighted idiot in a sea of normal people. I was the only person at my table, the next table and every table I could eavesdrop on who wasn't planning on continuing on to a four year degree. I picked my degree because it was the fastest way from point A to marketable job skills.

I'm in "re-training", not looking for a career. I just want to make enough money to live on, support my kid and have time left over to write and study craft. People ask me if I want to join study groups, come over and do homework together. Hang out after class. Seriously?

I have a life, and it involves doing homework at two am. I don't have time to go to school all day and do homework all night. I'm struggling to maintain my 3.5, and worried it'll be a total waste of time.

The woman next to me was also an accounting major and she told me how she took time off to devote herself to going to school every day, carried her textbooks around with her, how easy everything was, and how she felt she wasn't being challenged. And there I was, struggling to the point I go to flex class even though I'm not enrolled. It's like pulling fingernails with my teeth. It's freappin' hard!!

How can they make it seem so easy? Is it really that simple? I got a serious case of the unworthies from breathing the same air. I haven't felt so torn since high school. Not that this is going to rock my self-esteem, but damn--I'm blowing through this bag of Dove candy like it's a bottomless grab-bag.

The Upside Down Transformational Arc

noreply@blogger.com (jodi) — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 19:52:00 +0000

Anyone who knows me, knows I'm not the biggest Maas fan. I admire him for the tidbit I took away from his first craft book, "Writing the Breakout Novel", and I'd been avoiding his RWA lecture, because--I dunno. It seemed like everyone was on the bandwagon, and I don't like crowds.

But I was working my way down the list and finally got to the "special" lectures. I enjoyed the first ten minutes of "The Fire Within". It was a wonderful, pumped up go-get-'em tiger of an intro that made me want to break out a pen. Then it kind of petered out. I think...because it was person-specific and would work better in a book. Not everything translates to lecture-format. Especially if you're listening to it after the fact.

But then he said the one thing that caught my attention. It might have been a "throwaway" line, but it was a nuclear flash for me.

"People usually think of the hero's transformational arc as going up, but sometimes, it goes down", and I stopped.

Wow.

He is so right. And never more so when it comes to certain types of stories. The upside down arc is the anti-hero's arc.

A good way to look at it would be to compare two movies like Good Will Hunting and The Bourne Identity. Both Matt Damon films. Put aside the fact that Jason Bourne is a killer, because that's not the part I'm talking about.

In the first movie--the Bourne Identity, Jason is a disenfranchised amnesiac killer who meets this woman named Marie (and I promised myself I wouldn't talk about the difference between the books and the movies, so I won't, lol) and over the course of the movie, he moves from considering her expendable to trusting her, to finally finding something inside himself willing to take that final step and reach out to her. It's a good example of an upward driving transformational arc.

Jason moves from point A, through positive steps--accepting Marie as a person, starting to trust her, wanting to protect her--to point B, where he's grown into the person he needs to be so they can have a life together.

In Good Will Hunting, Will starts at point A, down a long shallow slope of un-positive, really stupid and outright counter-productive behaviors. He pushes people away, destroys everyone's illusions and messes with people for the hell of it. He can't open up to the girl, and he doesn't want help to pull out of his downward spiral. Watching Will is so horrible it hurts. It's so unrelentingly bad. Down, down down, until he hits rock bottom, and only then, can he start the long crawl back. Transforming as he goes.

It's the same arc, only upside down. A reflection of all the bad things that a person can do to get to point B, instead of all the good things.

In some ways, it's like UNK's stages-of-grief downward arc, but this particular arc works for people with unreformed rakes and demons, uber-alphas with ptsd, disconnected loners and vampire/shifters. Anne Stuart does the downward arc. Probably why I have so many of her books. I love watching the hero get worse before he gets better.

Practical applications

noreply@blogger.com (jodi) — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 01:41:00 +0000

Deanna made me pinpoint exactly what I don't like about school. The formalized structure. As I work through my courses I'm grateful community college lets me cut to the chase. A four year degree would be more profitable, but I don't see the point.

Education is a journey, a lust and a passion. I want to know why and how. The other day, one of the divas over on RD talked about her creative writing class. Her professor gave the class an assignment and the class decided to write a sex scene.

It made her uncomfortable and made me think. Why did the class decide on the assignment? Where was the teacher? How qualified was the teacher anyway, or was it a retread of the "hero's journey", a bunch of archetypes and writing prompts?

Was there an explanation--how and why writing a sex scene out of context would improve your writing?

After the dust settled, the teacher gave the woman a chance to opt out and she said it was no longer an issue because it'd been resolved, but I'd have been right there with "why?" Why are you teaching this? What practical application does it have? Why are you using "this" technique over that technique and why am I paying money so you can hand me a textbook of non-specific exercises designed by committee?

It's like crit-groups. Everyone thinks you should have one. But according to the RWA lectures, most of the big-names don't. And every time I listen to the agent lectures, at least one agent on every panel will mention the book that came out of nowhere. No crit-group, no RWA background--nothing. Just a writer learning the craft and writing.

It depends, I think. On what you want to do.

You can learn technique and craft with others, but writing is a solo act. In every group, school/university/whatever there will be people who can't see over the horizon of their mediocrity. They're the same people who used to lock writers up for hearing voices, and still classify us outside the norm.

They form committees and make writing safe for the masses, they create curricula. They create make-work that creates "stuff" without implementing the systems to create thinkers.

Who decided what is "right" thinking and "wrong" thinking? If you take a person and a stick of butter, why is making toast the right answer, and (insert something sexual here) the wrong answer?

So...give me all the information, let me think about it, marvel and wonder. And have the freedom to interpret it in my own way without being at a one-remove. Because I have things to do and places to go. The horizon is just a starting point.

It's like a very specialized school

noreply@blogger.com (jodi) — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 03:17:00 +0000

...where I don't check in, need financial aid or have to dress up.

I recently started graduate school in my head, backwards of course. I find things I want to read and take notes on who the writer admires. Luckily some of these things are so obscure I can get them for a penny. Some things are so obscure they're no longer in print, and some things are so old they can't take my abuse.

I have a forty year-old Seymour Chatman book. I love his ideas--many of which reinforce my own theories--but it took me a solid week to read the introduction. He doesn't just use big words, he uses words so high-falutin' brow the words used to define them need definition. I spend so much time trying to figure out what he means by thinking of the words in context, I read each page three to four times. Which is cool because his kernel theory explains probability in a very elegant way. Which makes me wonder why my old English teachers didn't seem to know any of this stuff, or if it's considered so specialized, it became a side-road instead of part of the main drag. Why isn't it common knowledge in craft circles? Is it even craft? Or is there some kind of membrane between craft and theory?

Chatman is a professor emeritus of rhetoric at the University of Berkley--which thrilled me. What if he offered on-line classes? What if he did workshops on the side? Was there any way to skip the boring background stuff that doesn't interest me and go right to narrative structure? And not just any narrative structure, but "this" particular narrative structure?

The more research I do into rhetoric, the more I realize how unique he is. My favorite Chatman theory is that stories exist independently once they're told. Sort of like if you destroyed MacBeth, MacBeth would still exist. To paraphrase Chatman's example, no matter if you read Huckleberry Finn in a fancy dust jacket or a waterlogged paperback, it's still Huckleberry Finn. Just like if a freak accident ate every single Pride and Prejudice out there, including the film adaptions, in someone's head, Pride and Prejudice still exists. The same story in a different format.

Which is what stopped me halfway through the catalog.

If I take the courses I need to get to the classes I want, will I still be the same person? Will I start using the word "semiotic" instead of the "meaning of signs"? How do people lose touch?

Although I don't get a lot of feedback, I'm free to study whatever I want, whenever I want to, and form my own conclusions. There's a lot to be said for being on the outside looking in, rather than on the inside, pounding at my box.

...knowing too late is worse than never knowing

noreply@blogger.com (jodi) — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 09:11:00 +0000

I've been in re-training for almost a year now. I picked accounting because my first thought--to be a psychologist, would have taken too long. I'm still hoping I did the right thing. I even went to the counselors and got profiled to see what I was suited for. Funny how they said, "lawyer".

Maybe because I argue.

I wanted to be a lawyer years ago, and sometimes when I think about it, I wonder why people encourage kids to go straight into college. Teenagers have all the foresight of a turtle. I wanted to be a baker, librarian or lawyer. My dad wanted me to go to the University of Hawaii, so I ended up declaring a banking major even though I couldn't stand math.

I dropped out when my English teacher kicked me out of class. I told him to get his head out of the box he was in, and he told me to get out of his class. Guess we didn't hit it off. That whole, "a sentence is five words or more", didn't work for me.

During my last workshop, I felt my brain light up. It was the weirdest feeling, like someone had poured radioactive dye into my thoughts. The more I thought about craft, how it worked and linked together, the more "up" I felt. Like caffeine, chocolate and a runner's high all at the same time.

I'd started struggling through craft books. Not that I've fallen out of love with the art of writing, just that after reading everything I could find, it was starting to get old. The books were changing, from the word-dense tomes of the Dwight Swain era (Techniques of the Selling Writer) to the almost all pictures of A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words prompt books. Then one day I stumbled over a book on literary theory and found my heart-home.

It's the study of craft, how it works, and how to use it. In the abstract, without promoting one thing over the other.

I think--I'd have liked to be an English professor. Not a high school teacher, but a full-fledged, university level professor. One of the most useless majors out there. By the time I got out of school, it'd be time to retire and I'd have more debt that I could handle. Sometimes, it's better to be ignorant.

Floaty-bits

noreply@blogger.com (jodi) — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 08:48:00 +0000

I am an introverted loner with all the cuddle-factor of a rock. My "emotional expressivity" is low, my "emotional sensitivity" is low, and my "social expressivity" is so low it hit the wrong wall. However, I'm moderately concerned with appropriate social presentations and behaviors, even if I'm only slightly concerned with other people's perceptions and reactions to me.

As part of one of this quarter's classes, I took the 16pf questionnaire.

After I got the results I screamed for ten minutes straight. Things like, "NO!!" and "Stupid skewed test!" My kid had to talk me down. "Look, mom. It's all based on a desired norm." Which made me feel a little better, because I know I'm not normal, I just keep forgetting most people are.

(which is...er, the "definition" of normal, lol)

I didn't like the structure. Would you do this, that or ? Straight up? I have no interest in biking-hiking versus soccer-team sports. And if I had the choice between a party and a quiet evening at home with friends, I'd hope my friends would know I need some down-time.

According to the evaluation that came with my test results, I'm a shy, non-assertive person with "some" of the characteristics of a person who creates "novel or original works". Too bad I have average creativity and intelligence.

I don't think I've ever been so insulted. Worse when I read ipat's "how to interpret" your test results.

I prefer the Myer-Briggs. It least it allows for my eight deviations from desired characteristics without saying I fall outside the norm. Just that I have a "different" norm.

Breaking that crazy glue structure

noreply@blogger.com (jodi) — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 09:04:00 +0000

I’m not always the most concise person, but I kept looking at my notes on structure during the workshop and thinking—this is way too short. There’s got to be something more, some other way to explain it so it clicks faster.

The trouble was that I was looking at it full-on. It’s not just how plot fits into structure and how to pick the right one for your story (although I need to expand on that), but the reasons they’re confused with each other.

Even shorts take more than a day to write, and it’s normal to write them in the order events occur. If I write the opening, I’ll probably write the stuff that comes right afterwards. And over the course of days or months, I’m going to get attached to the way things are. Especially if I have a plot (in this post I'm using the word "plot" as what happens in your story) that says, “this” happens here, and “that” happens there. And in a lot of ways, it’s like baking. You need to do certain things to get a set of given results.

To get a a decent chocolate chip cookies you have to follow the recipe, but what if after you pull the cookies from the oven, you look at them and say, “They're edible, but what I really wanted was chocolate-chip shortbread?”

Since you know the basic framework of a cookie, and how the ingredients go together you simply take your basics and combine them in a different way. The ingredients are the same, but the way they’re put together produces a different result, and that’s a good definition of structure—knowing how to get a certain “effect”.

In other words, scenes, the basic units of a book are movable, but sometimes scenes don’t need to be there, are missing, or in the wrong order.

Looking at your story as a whole, after it’s been roughed out is the only time you can evaluate for effectiveness—and let me back that up. If the plot of my book is John decides to go back to school, goes back, meets a girl and later, after graduation, marries her. It’s a good plot. It has rudimentary structure, because it has a beginning, middle and end.

But why does it begin where it does? What if it began in a different place? Is the plot good and tight, or does it drag? Would it be stronger if you used one of the major structures?

What if your story is about John going to school to find himself, meet that girl and marry her, but your gut feeling says you should put more emphasis on how John changes over the course of the story?

Then maybe Michael Hague’s six point structure—which closely parallels the transformational arc would be useful and take your story to another level.

Or maybe you like the idea the way it is, but have this feeling something is wrong, and realize you have scenes that seem like part of another novel. Then the straight arrow of Aristotle’s “rising action” or dramatic structure would work to keep your story focused on the end.

It’s like making a cookie. The end result can be whatever you want, but you have to use the right ingredients, not just throw everything in there. And you have to know the recipes, because sometimes, the right structure is the intuitive one that breaks all the rules, but works for you. Good cookie bakers know that once you learn how things work together, you can take that knowledge and create new cookies. That's why there are so many forms of structure. Someone got tired of chocolate chip cookies and using what she knew, went on to create Hot Peanut Butter Fudge shortbread bars.

So many thoughts...

noreply@blogger.com (jodi) — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 06:16:00 +0000

MG says it was the enormous drink she had at the Emerald City conference that made her eyes glaze over, but it was probably the way I grabbed Doc's napkin and started sketching character intersections and algebraic equations.

Imho--it needs a whiteboard and Youtube video to make sense. Not totally out of the question, since I figured out how to do it.

...not that I "will" do it until I write out a script and get a haircut. I don't mind a bunch of random strangers telling me I suck, but I'd rather not have eight hundred people tell me I have "mushroom head".

I also wonder if I can carry off a parody or it'd have to be one of those deadly dull things. Hey! Ask a Ninja has spiffy theme music, AND cool clothes.

--maybe a nice tweed dress

...with leather patches and a pipe? A comfortable but obviously expensive armchair. A wine glass! Water Music playing softly in the background and me, in a voice like plum jam, "Wel-come, to Ask an Author."

A couple of months ago, Elizabeth Gilbert spoke to a group of writers about nurturing creativity. Good lecture. I remember nodding, but it passed right over my head. I thought it was the setting. Big lecture hall, lots of studious looking people. Spotlight.

But then I listened to some guy in a jumpy close-up and felt the same way. I'm not sure what that means for "Jodi and her Presentation sized Post-its do obscure theories in three minute sound bites" but I think I might have to wave my arms and jump around.

ideas fighting to get out:

More on structure, I think I was too short

Expand algebraic theory. Random variables? There's got to be a way to figure them out ahead of time

If a lot of little stuff equals one big stuff, "event horizon" is the key. It won't go away. Is a black hole's event horizon a good way to look at the end? Am I even making sense?? Will I make sense in the morning? What happens if I erase the scribble on my forearm, will the thoughts vanish?

And why is the pumpkin farm on the wrong side of the road? My kid wants a pumpkin.

The workshop is over sad

noreply@blogger.com (jodi) — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 08:56:00 +0000

And I'm a too tired to sound anywhere near intelligent. Like Andi, all I want is a soft landing.

I discovered a lot of things during the workshop, even if I was supposed to be teaching it. I wondered about different ways to approach old thoughts and got lots of fabulous questions. I also made a firm commitment to figure out YouTube. I have this video I want to make on the algebraic tendencies of organic plot, which I didn't go into because I didn't want anyone (yes, MG--I know your eyes glazed over) to fall asleep.

And just how labor intensive it gets to be.

I've had six hours in the last five days. Sleep is rushing over me like a tidal wave.

It's like flying

noreply@blogger.com (jodi) — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 04:34:00 +0000

I think I like it. And I know this is a double-post day, but...I think I like doing workshops. It's been a day and so far I've only gotten one question (I thought something was broken, or maybe I really "had" scared people off), but it was amazingly cool.

It was...something I really enjoyed doing/answering/working at.

Sometimes, I get scared that my brain is atrophying. I was talking to my boss the other day and the subject was what it usually is when we discuss "breakfast with the Beatles". "Why do I have to listen to this? Every Sunday for three hours, over and over again? It's always the same music."

And I floated my theory (he says I over-think things and he might be right) that we have loud music because they don't want us to think. They want us to be happy, hum along and do the muscle-memory thing. And he looked at me and said, "Of course. This is a mindless job. Just do what you're trained to do."

Which I'd always known, but having it confirmed was an ick moment. Some people complain the music isn't loud enough and I wonder about them.

One of my favorite quotes is from Anne Morrow Lindbergh and I think about it while I work.

“We seem so frightened today of being alone that we never let it happen. Even if family, friends, and the movies should fail, there is still the radio or television to fill up the void…. We can do our housework with soap-opera heroes at our side…. Now, instead of planting our solitude with our own dream blossoms, we choke the space with continuous music, chatter, and companionship to which we do not even listen. It is simply there to fill the vacuum. When the noise stops there is no inner music to take its place. We must re-learn to be alone.”
Anne Morrow Lindbergh, B. 1906

"It's Best of the Eighties", all day. All the time.

My workshop....is that a weird feeling or what?

noreply@blogger.com (jodi) — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 08:59:00 +0000

The very first day I saw my workshop blurb go up, I got this chill. Sort of like someone throwing ice cubes down my shirt. I'm still not sure how to deal with it.

The good thing is that it's forced me to take a hard look at my theories over the past couple of years. The more I learn, the more ignorant I appear to myself. Learning is a process, but just when I thought I had a grip on it, I find things that make me wonder why I didn't simply "see" them.

I've been putting my blog posts together. This goes here and that goes there, to get to this point you have to see this before that. Most of it appears to be variations on the definition of character and structure. A few random things, bit and pieces.

So far, my first lesson is over ten pages long. From what I remember of the on-line classes I took from KOD, I don't remember any teacher going into that much depth. And you know what I'll add over the course of the day will probably end up being another twenty pages.

I'm seriously hoping I don't scare people off.

gah...so it's official

noreply@blogger.com (jodi) — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 03:30:00 +0000

People in my kid's home-store are infected with swine flu. The lab results just got back today.

He's been spending time wrapped up in a blanket on the couch, looking tired and queasy. The other day he spent a good hour throwing up. I on the other hand, felt pretty good until about four days ago, and then both of my line-partners got sick.

"Yodi? My throat hurts..." and "I don't feel good." My boss got sick, and one of the assistants got sick. The bussers got sick and the dishwasher started to cough.

My head hurts like someone is hammering it with a baseball bat, and my entire body aches. Probably because with everyone hunched over and moaning, I'm putting out three times my normal effort. I've been sick so long, on and off, I couldn't deal with it anymore.

Yesterday, I stopped in at QFC (chicken is on sale) and saw they were doing a flu clinic. It'd just ended, but I went right up to the counter and asked to be stuck. The pharmacist told me getting sick over and over didn't sound like the flu because you build immunity to the strains in your workplace, but my workplace is an incubator.

People get sick, pass it around--go home, infect their families and when it mutates, bring it back to start the cycle over.

One of the other assistants said, "I don't believe in flu shots." And I said, "It's not a faith issue. Whether you believe in them or not doesn't matter." It's science. And if I wasn't a healthy (mostly) individual, when the swine flu shots come out, I'd rush right down to get them. Unfortunately I have to wait a month.

Who is this other person?

noreply@blogger.com (jodi) — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 01:29:00 +0000

...and why'd they take my alter-ego?

There's a Jodi Henley over in Florida who sells houses, although I've got to be leery of a woman who calls herself "IbuyhomesinFL", a Jodi over in Olympia that's got to be thirty years younger and pretty, too. (No, I'm not, and yes--I wish I was). A Jodi on LinkedIn, which is cool. I'm not "that" Jodi, but if I were a businesswoman, that's who I'd like to be. A Jodi over in Arizona doing work on behalf of kids (I'm not that person, but I admire her)

With all the Jodi's out there, I created an alter-ego named Cup o' Noodles. She's a person over on Romance Divas, slightly crazed, a little anti-social, but basically a good sort with a talent for examples. Or so Kaige tells me, lol.

Whenever I want to access my blog without signing in, I google the name, "Will Work for Noodles" 'cause that's the name of my blog. Recently, someone over on MySpace co-opted my name--not that it's really mine or anything--and it feels weird. Not that the woman isn't nice and doing a lot with her life. But...*wah* I'd gotten used to being one of many Jodi's. I wanted to be the only Will Work for Noodles.

And when did I change my descriptor to "loather of green cheese"?